Moments...

I have 'bad moments' - when I am frustrated and scared and wanting to pull my hair out and cry and kick a wall. But, I also have 'good moments'. Moments where I am just completely happy and at peace with myself and the world and absorbed in that specific moment, whatever it might be... I've had a few of those 'good moments' lately and I've had my camera phone by me during some of them... I thought I'd share a few pictures of those 'good moments'...

Archer is hard for me. He's just SO DARN SNEAKY that I lose him and it scares me - which leads to me getting angry. Or he's SO DARN STUBBORN that if he doesn't want to do something, he will do everything in his power to NOT do it! But, he also has that side to him that is SO DARN CUTE!!! I can't help myself. When he turns on his charm, I'm a total pushover. Generally, it's when it's just him and me that it turns on his cuteness that I can't resist. Like the last few nights when DarTanion and Robyn are asleep in their rooms - Jeremiah has gone to bed early or has been in our room watching TV - and I am playing on the computer. Archer will sneak in the computer room, give me a hug and ask me: "Mom, do you wanna snuggle with me?" SERIOUSLY! How do you resist that?! So I end whatever I am doing, go crawl on the couch with my little guy, snuggle under his Thomas the Train blanket and just think about how much I really do love my little guy... :) I've fallen asleep with him twice in the last 3 nights. :) Last night, we read a Thomas book before shutting off the lights...

I woke up and went to my own bed around 3am this morning. Then around 7:30am, I heard Archer laughing. I went into the living room to see what he was laughing at and he was sitting up, but completely asleep, and laughing. :) I sat down on the other couch and just listened to him and watched him laugh in his sleep. When I got up, I hit my leg on the coffee table and probably said a bad word, which woke him up. I asked him what he was dreaming about. He started laughing and said that a chicken was pooping on a fence. Ah, the joys of a 4 year old boy. :)

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There is something about the Fall that just makes me completely smile - from the inside, out!. :) I love that the leaves change colors. I love the smell of the damp air. I love that there are pumpkins EVERYWHERE! I love that I can dress up and be silly and get candy from complete strangers houses! How cool is this time of year!?!

My mom and dad came down last week to go pick out some pumpkins. We were going to go to Floyd's Pumpkin Field (one of my dad's old farmers) but Floyd was siting at the pumpkin stand in front of Cal Ranch in American Fork, so we went there. :) Floyd is awesome. Every year he lets us all go out and pick a pumpkin or two. All he asks in return are pictures of the kids dressed up in their costumes or with their pumpkins. I can TOTALLY do that! Here are a few pictures of the boys picking out pumpkins (Robyn was more concerned about riding in the wagons!)

We promised DarTanion that we would carve pumpkins this year (which we usually don't end up doing, believe it or not!) So, instead of just putting the "Mr. Potato Head" type parts in all of our pumpkins (like we did last year), we actually carved 3 pumpkins. Don't worry, we still used the Mr. Potato Head pieces, too, I just didn't take pictures before we put them outside. I'll be sure to take some pictures tomorrow for you. :) DarTanion, Archer, Robyn, and Jeremiah put Pumpkin Head pieces in pumpkins to make the Mr. Pumpkin Heads. Then Jeremiah turned on a Mickey Mouse movie in our room for Archer and Robyn. Since they were nicely distracted, DarTanion and I started carving pumpkins. Archer and Robyn were adequately distracted while all cutting with knives was being done. :) DarTanion loved squishing the pumpkin guts and taking a sharp knife to the pumpkin - the little beast! But I have to say, I had a blast. :) It was so fun to get lost in the pumpkins with my big boy - to spend a little one-on-one time with him for something besides homework! Here are some pictures from that...

mmm... pumpkin guts...
carving his pumpkin
pot of seeds and DarTanion's carved pumkin (with it's lid on crooked)

my finished pumpkin :)
all 3 carved pumpkins (I did a 2-face pumpkin, too)
Robynson decided that she had to taste the pumpkin -
she actually really liked it! :)

I love my kids.

They may drive me crazy, make me have a strand or two of grey hair, make me have panic attacks in the middle of the night - but they are wonderful and funny and cute and make my life great. I wouldn't know how to be happy without them. :)

LOTS and LOTS of Doctor's Appointments...

I haven't actually posted the things that have been going on in our life lately. Probably because I don't quite know how I feel about all of them... I'm a little nervous - scared - of what life is going to bring about next. Which trial we will be facing. How we will survive this one...

A major thing?

I had taken the kids out of town to go see my Grandma Bagley and my Grandma and Grandpa Barlow. The kids love to play on the Bagley Farm and we made a trip into Richfield to see my other Grandparents, because we haven't gone since Robyn got sick (over 3 months ago!). While we were gone, Jeremiah was laid off from Okland Construction. Crap. I know... We are hoping it will be a blessing in disguise - that since we no longer make too much for Medicaid (um, yeah, we don't make anything but unemployment), that maybe it could be backdated and cover when Robynson got sick... Maybe... Hopefully? :) We've applied for Medicaid, Food Stamps, Unemployment - all that. Never done it before, so hopefully we can get it done and be approved...

Another thing we have been doing? Doctor appointments... For the last 2 weeks, we have had more doctor appointments than I care to have in a year.

DarTanion

Since we didn't have insurance when DarTanion turned 6, we put off his 'well child checkup' until we did. We went in on Wednesday last week to just make sure he's 'normal' and healthy. We've had the same Pediatrician since DarTanion was born so it's safe to say that he knows my kids. Every year, we've noticed signs of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Every year we have said that we'll just work with it. We'll just try the behavior modification things. So this year, when it came up again but the fact that it's getting harder and harder for me to sit down with him (and get HIM to sit down) to do homework or read or anything he doesn't want to do - I decided that we should try something different. I set up a follow up appointment to have a consult for ADHD. Jeremiah, DarTanion and I sat down with Dr. Dave to see what he thought. We discussed the problems, the good points, the bad points, the 'i can't do this anymore' things... The fact that for DarTanion to read an entire 20 page book (a simple, easy, 20 page book) that it takes about an hour. He can't sit still. He can't look at the page and concentrate. He wanders off. And if by some miracle he reads a page - he can't remember what he just read. It drives me crazy. The kid is in school from 8:30am til 3pm then if I make him read, it's an extra hour of school - PLUS the home work the teacher sent home. I just can't do it anymore. Call me a bad mom or whatever, but I'm going to try the drugs.

We decided to try an ADHD drug. We're starting out at a really low dosage and we're going to see how it turns out. I've talked with his teacher - who agrees that DarTanion has concentration problems - and she is completely supportive - which is SO nice because I know a lot of people don't agree with drugging your children. To be honest, I just want him to be successful and if I see that the meds don't seem to help, then I'll take him off of them. I don't want a zombie child - just one that can concentrate!!! So, tomorrow (10/26/09), we will be starting him on Vyvanse.

JEREMIAH

Jeremiah has gone to the doctor a few times this month for his hands. His right arm (hand) will go numb and he'll end up dropping whatever he was holding - which was a problem when he was swinging a hammer! He went in to Dr. Olson who told him that he definitely has Carpal Tunnel in his Right Hand (and most likely starting in his left) and that he needs surgery in his right hand to fix it. SO, since we have insurance and he is laid off, he went in on Thursday last week for surgery to fix it. What better timing? He doesn't have to recover to go back to work right now - just be available if work comes up and keep looking in the mean time!

I teased Jeremiah while they were getting him ready for the surgery. They had to shave his wrist and hook him up to a couple of IVs and give him pain meds and all sorts of fun stuff. In our marriage, I've had 3 kids, a stomach scope and dental surgery. He's only had his wisdom teeth out, so it was TOTALLY my time to tease him!!! I took a couple of GREAT pictures specifically for this blog...

Isn't he brave? :)

He seems to be healing just fine and dandy. He's over done it a few times (of course) but he's really trying to take it easy and let it heal. He will sometimes 'forget' that he can't do something - like pull on the van doors to get them open - and it hurts him, but he's been good about icing it and taking pain meds when it becomes too much... There are some nasty (HUGE) stitches underneath a big bulky brace. My poor hubby... He's a trooper, though, and I know that he'll be just fine. :)

ME & JEREMIAH

Robynson's heart doctors wanted Jeremiah and I to go to an Adult Cardiologist and have an Echo done to rule out a familial (genetic) heart problem. We got an appointment at the Cardiology Clinic here in Provo with Doctor Allen on Wednesday. We each had some blood work done and an EKG done by a really funny old nurse. She really put our nerves at ease. The EKG looked fine, but he wanted to do an MRI on our heart (for both of us), so we had that done on Friday. No one really told us what to expect for that and since we were busy with Jeremiah's surgery the day before, I never looked it up online. But holy crap - that is not a fun experience! First off - no caffeine or chocolate for 24 hours. I about died. :) Then when we were actually getting the MRI stuff done, we had to have 2 IV's (one for each arm), have about 40 scans in the MRI machine (which is like an inch above your face - no joke), hold our breath a lot, have all sorts of monitors attached all over your chest by a young girl and a young cute male nurse (totally humiliating!), dye inserted in your IV along with a stimulant -- and for me, a huge panic attack right as you are put into the machine! I was able to calm myself down, but yeah, it freaked me out. Jeremiah made a great analogy when he said "so that's what it feels like to be buried alive!" Yep. I'm pretty sure it is... Except it's light... I'm glad it's over (for now, I guess). We'll get the results this coming Wednesday. I don't know what to hope for. I'd like to say that neither of us have a heart problem, but that means we still have NO CLUE what is wrong with our little Robynson... I'd love to know how to make her better, but I don't necessarily want to find out that one of us has a heart problem!!!

All these not so wonderful things that could / could not be... With no job, no money, and (soon) no insurance to do them with. It will be interesting...

Ah... life. It has this funny way of going in crazy circles which aren't always fun. But still, I have my faith. I have my family. I have a crazy wonderful support system. I am SO blessed in my life. I wish I could convey to others how loved I feel and how sad I am to see others struggling with their problems... I want to give everyone a hug and just hold them and tell them that some how it will all work out. Because that's how I feel. That's my motto these days...

Somehow,
it will all work out...

DarTanion playing Punch Out

Jeremiah's brother JED lives upstairs. He lets the kids come up on Sundays (and sometimes during the week) to play on his Nintendo WII. My kids LOVE it! :)

DarTanion's latest obsession has been the game PUNCH OUT. Basically, you are a boxer. He gets SO into the game. He's started making up his own words (I think they are DarTanion Swear Words) to shout at the boxer he's fighting. Also, there is a guy that you fight who is French. All that DarTanion knows is that the guy speaks with an accent. When he fights the guy, DarTanion will count in Spanish (thinking that he is talking to the guy or something!) It's pretty hilarious. Don't believe me? Check it out! :)

If you get this emailed to you, you'll have to go to the actual site to view the video...
mandyandmiah.blogspot.com

LOVES! :)

Playing! :)

ROBYNSON

playing in the leaves
hooked up to the portable heart monitor
drinking MY drink!
playing at McDonalds
being her cute little self :)

ARCHER

silly Archer's bed that he made (from the front)
from behind

DARTANION

DarTanion and I went on a 'date' when he had a doctors appointment. We had lunch and then went to the Homestead Resort to see their Scarecrow Convention. :) Then we went to the doctors office for his 6 year old check up. He loves playing on the chalk board! It was a lot of fun to have some one on one time with my big guy...

FRIENDS

Callie Matthew Sebastian

200

Well, this is my 200th post on the family blog. Lots of wonderful stuff. TONS of pictures. Some sad, but mostly happy... WELL, here's to lots more posts! :)

Today I'm going to type up a few... Maybe I'll delay them... Maybe I won't. Are you ready? :)

Lots of pictures to share!

This last week the kids had lots of fun running around in our backyard, playing with friends, picnics, cleaning and digging in dirt. :) The weather was perfect - not too hot, not too cold... Here are some pictures. :)

FUN WITH OUR FRIENDS

OUT FOR A FAMILY DRIVE

the rarely seen hubby...
(see the heart in the sky?!)

ANIMAL FRIENDS...

Do you see the 2 deer in our backyard neighbors yard?

BACKYARD PICNIC

she just drank the pickle juice... must be my kid!

MISMATCHED ROBYNSON...

Don't you love the messy hair, capri's, green shirt, and cowboy boots?

DARTANION'S 2nd LOST TOOTH!!!

like his black eye, too?
he hit his eye on a swing yesterday and lost his tooth this morning...

RANDOM MOMENTS
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So... my next post will be post # 200!!!!
Do you have a favorite Post or Picture from my blog???